i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
