Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
