Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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