bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It's just like the Real World with babies
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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