Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
