my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
