your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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