We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
