Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
