its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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