i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
