Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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