Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I intend to get homeless drunk
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Randomize
