doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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