exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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