my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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