Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
