I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
