You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize