i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize