Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
