we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
