i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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