I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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