I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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