If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
