That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
