trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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