so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
