awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize