The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just forgot I was standing up.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
