forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
