Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
