and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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