never play flip cup with pint glasses
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
