i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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