hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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