There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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