She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
