you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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