the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize