I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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