Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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