Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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