I feel like abortions should bother me more
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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