Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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