things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
