the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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