My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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