I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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