Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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