I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize
