just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize