I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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