Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
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