My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
