I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
