In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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