he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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