he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
