she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
