So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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