Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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