oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
