Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
