NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
