Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
